Hi, and welcome to The Journey Never Ends.
Today I want to talk about fear.
One of the first times I finally sat down with a therapist, she asked me, what do you fear?
I took a long moment of silence.
I stared deeply into her eyes.
I didn't blink.
And I said, nothing.
She tilted her head and thought a little.
waiting for me to explain.
And I told her that I have no fear because I've experienced the scariest things.
When you lose your mind, there's nothing scarier.
When you hallucinate about a portal of hell and demons coming after you,
there's nothing scarier.
When you realize that your entire CPU,
aka your brain that you're supposed to trust,
suddenly short circuits and place tricks on you,
there's nothing scarier.
When society decides that you are broken,
when society disenfranchises you with the label of crazy,
When people tell me I'm crazy, I reply with confidence, crazy good.
I am crazy good.
I am so good.
It's insane how good I am.
I don't let society dictate my future.
I don't let society expectations of others decide what I'm going to be doing, what my fears are.
So if you're struggling with fear right now because of your diagnosis, I get it.
I've been there.
Keep trucking.
Journal.
Understand in a way, though, that experiencing fear to the nth degree...
can set you free of other smaller fears.
I'm not afraid to talk in front of people.
I'm not afraid to be disenfranchised by people.
I'm not afraid because I fundamentally think that there's nothing I can't go through.
If I am capable
of overcoming three intense psychotic manic episodes,
destroying my life and coming back anew,
what else could be worse?
What else could be more difficult?
In my opinion, I can't even think of it.
And I love that.
It sets me free.
It sets me free to understand that any obstacle that comes my way
will be conquered by me.
So again, if you're going through fear, it's normal.
Work on it.
Understand that once you overcome and realize that you can control the power that
you give fear,
you will be able to live life better because living life in fear is not living at all.
So I just wanted to share the perspective that I have that's maybe a little warped
because of the fear that I've experienced with my psychosis.
I hope that at one point,
if you're experiencing this crippling fear,
that you can get to this point and that you're let free from the shackles of fear.
That's all I wanted to talk about today.
Remember to speak crazy, crazy good.
Y'all have a great day.
Thank y'all so much for being here.
Much love.
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